I knew it’s been a while I didn’t update my blog…i just dont know what else to share with u guys out there…but this time I’m going to post something unusual that I felt lately…. I just couldn’t understand why I felt there’s a lie and betrayal going on…my instincts said so…I tried so hard to erase it but my heart denies it…can it be true? Can I rely on my instincts saying that someone had hurt me and lie to me without my knowledge

Let me blab about what I feel right now…well, I have just listened few nights ago with mommy…sort of a religious motivation talk and penceramah atu highlight kisah nabi which I find it interesting…kisah nabi berjumpa dgn this very social man…kaki judi, kaki perempuan and kaki minum…. I don’t wan to waste time writing whatever happens but yg pentingnya, si lelaki atu insaf dgn sebuah permintaan nabi…. permintaan nabi cuma satu, yes satu…. “jangan berbohong..” and the man agreed…. terjadinya satu contract yg dinamakan JANJI

Well the moral of the story is, make sure u can fulfill your promise to the promise… cos once he/she finds out you go against the promise, then you will never find peacefulness in urn lives, no trust from that person and yet will be label as a traitor…therefore I wish to those lie and betray me out there with all the happiness in their lives… mudahan kamu semua berbahagia dgn pengkhianatan dan bersedialah menerima pangkat baru dalam kehidupan iaitu sebagai seorang MUNAFIK

Promise- tell me what you meant by that? It’s just a word which had seven letters with different values, maybe worth a little or more which depends on a case to case basis

Why must there be a promise made? Why make promises if u can’t grant it? Why betray ones feeling in directly? Is it because lies are needed to cover some guilt? What’s the purpose of lies if it eventually hurts in the end? Promises are needed to compromise two or more different parties for a better solution, to know the boundaries and to take note on their rights in the right way…. Not the reverse way but to respect in what way they are required to fulfill in….

Sometimes I do wonder myself, is there anyone in my life who can be 100% honest with me? Someone who could be truthful although it may hurt us sometimes? But what good is a lie anyway if in the end u gets caught? My heart alerts me with something but I just don’t understand who and why….. I just don’t knew why am I sensing this lie and betrayal thing  so I guess the best way to do is to  PRAY TO ALLAH so that He can give me some clues on my mist. I’ve been trying to be honest with everyone I know but it’s sad to know that there’s lies between truth…. don’t you feel the guilt of such a small lie (maybe big) that u did?

If my intention is wrong, punish me dear Allah…. but if I’m on the right path, please guide me and please give mercy to that person…. I am sure there are reasons behind everything that happens…i know…

What goes around comes around…. One fine day I know Allah will show me the truth… I don’t want to mention names or accuse whoever but yeah, if you think it’s you, please confront me and tell me why? Am I such a bad person in your eyes? If you have the intention of committing a sin towards me, why must u do so? If I let u make a promise and u can’t fulfill it, why can’t u just be honest? Is there anyone who is not satisfied with me? Can’t anyone just be honest to me right now? If you’re afraid I might get hurt, what about God up there watching u? I know what I’m writing is just based on my instincts, but I’m sure u knows what my point is right? How can you seek forgiveness from him if you do wrong towards me… Remember what Allah said… “I will forgive your sins towards me if you really repent, but I shall not interfere if you did wrongs among yourselves” so think about it

I am pretty much aware that I am writing based on instincts without proper prove, yes that’s true….I haven’t got any prove yet as proves can be deleted like deleting files in your PC… but don’t forget the prove and witness that God sees up there… I don’t know the intention of that person since I don’t know who…. I just hope that whatever that person’s intention is, stop it… before it’s too late…

I will continue soon as I’m so damn sleepy….. I’ll just leave these nice quotes for you readers to understand deeply how I feel right now and as a reminder to those who feels o having a bad intention….

“Empat perkara sesiapa yang memilikinya adalah dia munafik yang nyata dan sesiapa yang memiliki satu daripadanya dia memiliki satu sifat munafik,

Apabila bercakap dia berbohong,

Apabila diamanahkan dia khianat.

Apabila berjanji dia mungkiri,

Apabila bergaduh dia melampau“.

Good night everyone

Rossa – Hati Yang Kau Sakiti

jangan pernah katakan bahwa
cintamu hanya untukku
karna kini kau telah membaginya

* maafkan bila memang kini
harus kutinggalkan dirimu
karna hatiku selalu kau lukai

** tak ada lagi yang bisa ku lakukan tanpamu
ku hanya bisa mengatakan apa yang ku rasa
ku menangis membayangkan
betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku
kau duakan cinta ini
kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan
kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

ku menangis
harus slalu kau tahu
aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti….

i hope u know what im trying to tell you…..

sincerely,

Happy Faith Rhyme

Abang, its been almost 3 weeks me balik dah. I thought i would be happy when i came home soon, but as to my surprise, it doesnt seem to be the way i expect. Why is it so? We seem to be near yet we’re far actually. We are no more close as we were before. How i miss the old moments abg…. I missed you and its killing me day by day…  if i know i’l be feeling this way, i wouldnt come back that soon. i wish things were still the same like before, i dont feel your love anymore bee… no more loving n tenderness? you seemed to be cold towards me from the beginning and i keep on asking myself why and why and why…. initially i thought that maybe due to our seperation which makes us feel awkward when we meet again but its been continuing day by day….please dont do this to me abang…..please dont be cruel to me… i came home for you, i rather not spend my summers in the UK just for you and yet this is what i get in return….kenapa abang??  Are you bored with me dah? if you do please let me know my mistakes and il try to mend it… and if you dont love me anymore, let me know it by now. And if you still love me, my door is always open for you… and il be waiting for that answer and il be waiting for you to wipe these tears away…. I love you no matter what….

Love,

Happy Faith Rhyme

never forget that i love you

never forget that i’m thinking of you every second…

you’re always in my thoughts…

Always remember that we’re destined for each other

always remember the times we had before

love u, love u. love u

till death tear us apart…

p/s; jan angan2 kan meracuni hidup kami to certain ppl out there

i wish i could just brush those exams and fly off with my coming results..but hey, ani bukan Brunei yg cikgunya sanang2 bagi markah…. arghh.. i miss being spoonfeed…

Look what i found up… a “i dont knw when” pic of me and i decided to change the color of it..
right now im listening to Siti Nurhaliza’a song, Pastikan.. well i kinda love the song due to the chorus..

“Pastikan kau dengan aku jangan ada cinta lain….”

i wanna go home soon… now Siti reminds me of my teenage years where i used to fancy her alot..well sampai ani, i do adore her… krg ku upload pic nya tarus ah hehehe… i still remember when my cousin, Estee slalu cakap “muka mcm Siti” and i was like “uhuh reallyyy??” ngambang aku ah wawawa… i miss myself being back home… i have 2 more papers to go and its killing me…its killing me, its killing me… nah, yatah rasanya ni being a forensic student..haiiiyaaa… but whatever it is, i still need to perform the best….when a door shuts, it doesnt mean thats the only exit….

yesterday’s paper was really a hectic, well i wasnt really surprise of the compulsory qns but what makes me annoyed was the selected qns..well, i’ll use Dale’s quote “its a nightmare, past year exams were much more easier than this” and yeah, i do agree with that since Asha, Sally and this somalian guy merungut sorang2..and yeah Umaar made fun of the paper.. u silly boy haiyyaaa…

i miss my room

i miss my life back in Brunei

and i miss everything back there…

Here’s the pic as i promised